Will is only six months old.
You never know how a six month old will react to anything... especially anything that consists of sitting still for an hour and a half.
We picked a game that would be eminently desertable in the event that a temper squall turned into a tempest.
We picked a game of my alma mater, the University at Stony Brook Seawolves.
Stony Brook is a Division I program, in that they give people scholarships.
I'm not sure that the scholarships are predicated on actual athletic ability, but they give people scholarships.
We drove out to Stony Brook. The campus mostly deserted. The parking lots nearest to the Sports Complex was cordoned off. A sign hanging listed "VIP/ MEDIA PARKING".
Sure. Sure Stony Brook, sure.
We parked in the next lot. Not far from the radio station WALK van. Somehow they were denied entry to the "VIP/ MEDIA PARKING" lot.
WALK 97.5 did not make the cut.
Well, eight minutes into the game and we were watching a 5-0 barnburner against the University of Hartford Hawks.
Will was enjoying watching the tall men run back and forth for no discernible reason.
That isn't a reflection on the cognitive ability of six month old's and how it relates to them being able to pick up the concepts of the game of basketball.
No.
Everyone in attendance was watching the tall men run back and forth for no discernible reason.
The score was 5-0 after eight minutes of play.
That is a lot of not scoring and running back and forth for no discernible reason.
It was at this time I looked down at the VIP courtside tables set up twelve rows in front of us.
In lumbered a man with matted hair and a scraggly matted beard.
Wearing a red flannel jacket, and old black sweat pants.
The only thing missing, Mr. Socko on his meat paw.
It was none other than wrestling legend Mick Foley. a.k.a. Dude Love, a.k.a. Cactus Jack, a.k.a. Mankind.
There he was, as large as life.
What was he doing there?
Was he there for Wolfies, the Seawolves mascot birthday?
A motley crew of mascots were there for Wolfie's 13th birthday party.
Sparky the Islanders mascot was in the house for this birthday gala.
As was a purple gorilla that was handing out leaflets for his "Gorilla-gram" company.
Paddington Bear was also there, I'm not sure what he is the mascot for, but he was in attendance.
A couple of guys in rabbit suits, I can only guess they thought they were at a furry convention, also were in the mix.
Wolfie must have been bummed.
Half the mascots weren't even mascots... just dudes in fur suits.
I mean, really, Quackerjack of Long Island Duck's minor league baseball fame couldn't show up?
They had cake.
It's not baseball season.
F' you Quackerjack.
Anyway, Mick Foley wasn't there to take part in the mascot birthday festivities. Yet there he was. A native of East Setauket, I guess he just took his kids out for an afternoon of bad basketball surrounded by people in fur suits.
Mick Foley and I think the same.
Now, I could have taken this opportunity to get a picture of my son with the legendary grappler Mankind. However, there was the outside chance that this bedraggled man with the matted hair and missing teeth was not Mick Foley... and was in fact just a homeless man.
I decided against taking the chance.
Now, I don't have many fathering creeds, but one of the few I hold is "don't hand off your infant son to someone who may possibly be homeless".
Will is better for my sage wisdom.
The game slogged on. Mick Foley/Possible Homeless guy left with about ten minutes left in the game.
Will had more control over his dribble then any of the mathletes on the court, and he grew far more interested in trying to sleep.
So, we left.
In conclusion:
- Will saw his first game, complete with pep bands, portly dance teams, and guys in fur suits.
- Stony Brook lost by 15.
- Mascot birthday cake was quite good.
- Most importantly I learned that Mick Foley, or a homeless man, is as good of a father as I am.
